Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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