So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
