Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
