i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize