i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I want to make a zoo with you.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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