Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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