Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Enjoy the penises
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
