Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
