Say something about gay babies.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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