I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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