so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
