I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just want to make out with him forever
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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