i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
