im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Congratulations! We have a period
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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