no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
