Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
