you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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