I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
honey bunches of taint.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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