great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
