And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
