Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
