3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
