Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
