At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
