He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
