So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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