Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
