Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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