Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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