Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
