these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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