So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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