at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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