Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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