That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
