I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she woke up with a sticky ear
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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