and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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