I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Less talking, more tequila
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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