Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
