5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
