the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I love you. Go after that dick
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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