i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
