she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
