he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
