scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
