he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
