You smell like stripper and shame
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
the night ended with taco bell and tears
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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