There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
