I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
