I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
