That's intense
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
